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Meg Oolders's avatar

Excellent start, Justin!

One thing I'll say, the first paragraph read like a prologue to me, with the second paragraph feeling like a more ideal START to the story. What's nice about paragraph one, too, is it's concise, which is a good characteristic for a prologue to have.

You did a great job capturing the sensory details of Sidney being beat up. I always manage to have someone getting punched or punching someone in my YA stories. 😂 Apart from kissing scenes, knuckle cracking/nose breaking scenes are my favorite to write.

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Sharron Bassano's avatar

This beginning holds a lot of promise, Justin! I already know by name who I would like to see murdered! ha ha ha. Another bonus for me this morning, is your inspired choice of photograph. It always makes me feel so "worldly", so well-traveled, that I not only recognize the castle but remember stomping around on the same Scottish headland. Lovely!

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