Why do you have to make me emotional on a Monday! A wonderful story, Justin, and it's awesome to see the use of stories to communicate struggles overcome. Really fantastic work!
Very powerful third paragraph, Justin. And I appreciate so much that their ending conversation was " man to man". Talk to a boy as if he were an adult with brains and he is likely to believe it, right? I have found that kids never rise to low expectations.
Thank you so much, Sharron! I appreciate you pointing out that detail. I included it for the reasons you mentioned! A conversation can carry a ton of weight, and it seems like this is one that will greatly impact Latrell. Mikey seems like someone who will tell it to him straight.
I love how the story condenses Mikey's life into such a short description. And, of course, the heartwarming ending. Would have loved a visual of the two men at the end to really evoke the emotions there! Moving story.
Thanks so much for reading, Ricki! That’s great feedback. I can see Latrell pulling up a folding chair and sitting beside Mikey, telling him his story, at eye level.
One of these days maybe I’ll go back and edit to include a final visual. I agree with what you said. I think it could strengthen the ending on an emotional level, too!
This is you demonstrating your gift for conveying so much story is so few words. Awesome. This inspired me to get to work on a story I've been brainstorming that tackles some difficult subject matter, but promises hope. Also something you're good at.
Meg, thank you so much for the thoughtful commentary. Your words made my day! (Also, I’m pumped to read the story you mentioned here. And I’m super excited that “Another Shot” inspired you to go after it!)
I really like this one, Justin. As always, your dialogue is realistic and true. I think my favorite part is the ending where you have the two characters talking in the "dimly lit auditorium". The reader can almost see a spotlight on both with the promise of a brighter world for Latrell now that he has shared his story with Mikey.
Thank you so much, Andrea! I’m really happy you enjoyed this story. I liked that part, too. I’m glad you pointed it out! On my first pass, I started to write Latrell’s story, but then I decided to pare it back. Maybe it was only meant for Mikey to hear. I think the ending works much better the way it is now.
Great work Justin. I love the short, concise language. Especially in the first paragraph.
Thank you very much, Jim. I’m happy you enjoyed the story!
Why do you have to make me emotional on a Monday! A wonderful story, Justin, and it's awesome to see the use of stories to communicate struggles overcome. Really fantastic work!
Haha, I’m sorry, Brian! I honestly think about this sometimes and then press the “schedule” button. 😂
Thank you so much. I always appreciate you reading and commenting! 🙏
Dialogue is your strength. Enjoyed this one!
Thank you so much for the kind words, Ehud!
You tackle hard things with such finesse, Justin! Another great, emotional story!
Thank you, Claire! 🙏
Very powerful third paragraph, Justin. And I appreciate so much that their ending conversation was " man to man". Talk to a boy as if he were an adult with brains and he is likely to believe it, right? I have found that kids never rise to low expectations.
Thank you so much, Sharron! I appreciate you pointing out that detail. I included it for the reasons you mentioned! A conversation can carry a ton of weight, and it seems like this is one that will greatly impact Latrell. Mikey seems like someone who will tell it to him straight.
That was really heartwarming. It just goes to show that sometimes bad choices can be turned around for the better. Nice work Justin.
Thank you, Pennie. I’m a firm believer in the idea you mentioned!
Well done, young squire.
Thank you, my liege! 😄
I love how the story condenses Mikey's life into such a short description. And, of course, the heartwarming ending. Would have loved a visual of the two men at the end to really evoke the emotions there! Moving story.
Thanks so much for reading, Ricki! That’s great feedback. I can see Latrell pulling up a folding chair and sitting beside Mikey, telling him his story, at eye level.
One of these days maybe I’ll go back and edit to include a final visual. I agree with what you said. I think it could strengthen the ending on an emotional level, too!
Thanks again! 😊
This is you demonstrating your gift for conveying so much story is so few words. Awesome. This inspired me to get to work on a story I've been brainstorming that tackles some difficult subject matter, but promises hope. Also something you're good at.
Meg, thank you so much for the thoughtful commentary. Your words made my day! (Also, I’m pumped to read the story you mentioned here. And I’m super excited that “Another Shot” inspired you to go after it!)
Great story. I agree with the folks who commented on your dialog skills. Thanks.
Really appreciate it, Scott! Thanks so much for reading.
That title!
Thanks, Amie! 😀
I really like this one, Justin. As always, your dialogue is realistic and true. I think my favorite part is the ending where you have the two characters talking in the "dimly lit auditorium". The reader can almost see a spotlight on both with the promise of a brighter world for Latrell now that he has shared his story with Mikey.
Thank you so much, Andrea! I’m really happy you enjoyed this story. I liked that part, too. I’m glad you pointed it out! On my first pass, I started to write Latrell’s story, but then I decided to pare it back. Maybe it was only meant for Mikey to hear. I think the ending works much better the way it is now.