This is bleak, and it is one of your best pieces, Justin. It would make a fine film. A perfect tribute to Cormac McCarthy. A while back, you recommended McCarthy's The Road to me. It was horrifying to me -- and I could not put it down. It taught me that I need to broaden my choice of reading material.
Thank you so much, Sharron! Seeing this story in film form would be an absolute dream come true. I would love for that to happen! 😄
The Road is horrifying! If you ever want to one-up it, read Blood Meridian. I last read it in full over a decade ago...some of those scenes are burned into my memory. I hear you in regards to broadening our reading horizons. I’m the same way. I often stick to genres/authors I enjoy. However, I recently read Verity by Colleen Hoover. My wife and I read it together. It’s nothing I would have picked up on my own, but damn, it left me a little freaked out! (With that said, I was not used to reading so much romance in a story...it made me laugh a time or two. There were some very vivid details/visuals. 😅)
I am perpetually behind on my Substack reading, but I'm glad I finally made it to this one. I don't generally read Westerns, but your story makes me want to give it a go! I really enjoyed this one! Quality writing, Justin!
Thank you so much for reading, Claire! I’m happy you enjoyed Arena Roja.
You’re not alone! I still have unread emails/posts from a couple months ago. I keep trying to dig my way back to them, but I’m not sure if I’ll ever get there.
That's great .I was ( am) startled that no one else mentioned my criticism. But let's now try to stick to the positive. I am VERY busy right now, getting TWO manuscripts finalized. One is a poetry manuscript of about 80 plus pages; Im touching it up and getting a list of all the acknowledgements I need. The other is a novel that is more like llinked together stories about one place where some characters in one story reappear in others. The best example I can think of is Pat Barker's brilliant Union Street (1980, the same year my , so far,one book was published, about hospital workers - I Looked Over Jordan and Other Stories (South End Press 1980). Barker's boo starts with a twelve year old girl in some horrendous trouble aided by a very shaky elder;the final story in the book is the twelve year old tryingt to prevent th senior woman's eviction! Two more are these linked-in stories or a novel would be James Joyce's Dubliners, Sherwood Anderson's Winesburgh Ohio, Toni Cade's hilarious Gorilla My Love. I have another novel im sending around to contestsand agents( it wrote itself from 2005-20010 but it was a very hectic time in my life- both of my parents were in their last days, I was working two jobs and my oldest kid went through a kaleidiscope of breakdowns and addictions (oxy and methadrine) that took about ten years. ssooooo, that's the SHORT VERSION.
I have a scene in my hospital book where two overworked orderlies are sharing one cup of quick cofee after successfullly turning over and cleaning a three hundred pound incontinent patient, and the head snaps, " Can you wind up the cofee clach, men it just so happens we're SHORT today."
The next sentence from the young laconic student orderly:: " She was about as tall as a penguin."
what really upsets me is that nobody but me commenting on the story sees the stereotype you have created.I was brought up on Westerns, it was hollywood's contrubtion to helping "form" young men and it included a massive disinformation distortion of the 'Great American West.' And I am astofhffunded that ShermaSn Alexie liked the story, or I wonder if Ehe is being poliite. Have you read any novels by Louise Erdrich? ( Love Medicne Tracks, Roundhouse The Last Report On The Miracle at Lost Horse? Or how about Linda Hogan- Mean Spirit, Solar Storm, People of The Whale all of which have strong fully developed complex female characterss? One of the main problems in American literature isthat there a very few male writers who can portray a woman or girl in a complex way without making her out to seem to be on a pedestal or walkingthe street
by the way, do you live anywhere near Hobart? My wife took me there for my 78 birthday since it is billed as a town chocked with bookstores we had a crazy time which I can write about later it's gettin a little past my bedtime best, Ernie PS Iif my criiticsm seems harsh, well, lt's the way I roll, Im straight up but if i didnt care about you and respect your writing, I wouldnt bother.
I welcome your feedback and criticism, Ernie, and I’m happy you pointed out the stereotype. I appreciate you being straightforward! You’re right. Maricela is pretty one-dimensional and isn’t anywhere near being fully developed. I think if I were to ever expand on the story or take another swing at it, I’d round her out more to make her more complex.
Hobart isn’t very far from me...maybe an hour and a half west or so?
Jun 21, 2023·edited Jun 21, 2023Liked by Justin Deming
Hey Justin, I missed the detail at the beginning, thinking you were recommending the read! I would say this is next level but you write next level already! Westerns are not typically my genre, but your descriptors, and the interplay between the characters pulled the reader close. You could totally see this in a film. Thanks, Justin. ps: I hate to lose a good hero!
Thank you so much for giving this story a chance, JM! I’m grateful for your kind words. Ugh, I know, I hate losing good heroes too. Trust me, it was never my intent when I set out to write the story! The whole thing took on a life of its own and brought me down some roads I wasn’t expecting to travel.
Exciting story. Had a bit of Unforgiven to it, the biggest difference being the love story and the boy's youth. A fatal youth. I was surprised when he shot and killed Nana. But the old woman is a sex trafficker. So there is justice by bullet. Thorny question that: the ethics of murder, of homicide. And to be a dying hero! Great classical themes tied up in a western thriller!
Thank you so much for reading, Sherman! I’m thrilled you liked it! When I wrote the initial draft, I questioned whether or not killing Nana went a bit too far, or if it was even necessary. I decided to leave it in the story due to Jamie’s circumstance/newfound knowledge of who she is and what she does...and her purpose for “caring” for these girls. I agree that it’s justified, but it does fall into that gray area.
Powerful story Justin. I can see why it was chosen for publication. The story unfolds gradually, getting darker with each revelation. A classic tale of love, good and evil. Thank you for sharing this.
Thanks so much for reading, Jim! When writing this one I remember it feeling like pulling back the layers of an onion. The characters took over and steered the ship all the way to port!
Thanks for sharing, Justin! I've only read one of McCarthy's novels, and that was The Road. However, No Country for Old Men is one of my favorite movies. I did pick up another one of his novels a while back, but his style just doesn't suit me. I might try another in the future, but my TBR list is pretty long right now.
Of course! And I totally understand, Brian. His writing isn’t for everyone, both in terms of style and content. The movie No Country for Old Men hits as hard as the novel for me!
This is bleak, and it is one of your best pieces, Justin. It would make a fine film. A perfect tribute to Cormac McCarthy. A while back, you recommended McCarthy's The Road to me. It was horrifying to me -- and I could not put it down. It taught me that I need to broaden my choice of reading material.
Thank you so much, Sharron! Seeing this story in film form would be an absolute dream come true. I would love for that to happen! 😄
The Road is horrifying! If you ever want to one-up it, read Blood Meridian. I last read it in full over a decade ago...some of those scenes are burned into my memory. I hear you in regards to broadening our reading horizons. I’m the same way. I often stick to genres/authors I enjoy. However, I recently read Verity by Colleen Hoover. My wife and I read it together. It’s nothing I would have picked up on my own, but damn, it left me a little freaked out! (With that said, I was not used to reading so much romance in a story...it made me laugh a time or two. There were some very vivid details/visuals. 😅)
Thank you for reading Arena Roja!
This feels like a perfect Western tale. I do feel that this is one of your best stories.
Thanks for the kind words and for reading, Jason!
I have never read any of McCarthy's novels, but I will now.
This was an amazing story, I loved how you wove the backstory of the characters into the story itself. Great job!
If you do pick up a McCarthy book, Scott, prepare to have your head blown off. He was an excellent writer, but brutal.
A fair heads up, without question!
Thank you so much for reading, Scott! I had a lot of fun writing this one. I’m happy you enjoyed it.
I completely agree with what Sharron said and offer the same warning!
I am perpetually behind on my Substack reading, but I'm glad I finally made it to this one. I don't generally read Westerns, but your story makes me want to give it a go! I really enjoyed this one! Quality writing, Justin!
Thank you so much for reading, Claire! I’m happy you enjoyed Arena Roja.
You’re not alone! I still have unread emails/posts from a couple months ago. I keep trying to dig my way back to them, but I’m not sure if I’ll ever get there.
That's great .I was ( am) startled that no one else mentioned my criticism. But let's now try to stick to the positive. I am VERY busy right now, getting TWO manuscripts finalized. One is a poetry manuscript of about 80 plus pages; Im touching it up and getting a list of all the acknowledgements I need. The other is a novel that is more like llinked together stories about one place where some characters in one story reappear in others. The best example I can think of is Pat Barker's brilliant Union Street (1980, the same year my , so far,one book was published, about hospital workers - I Looked Over Jordan and Other Stories (South End Press 1980). Barker's boo starts with a twelve year old girl in some horrendous trouble aided by a very shaky elder;the final story in the book is the twelve year old tryingt to prevent th senior woman's eviction! Two more are these linked-in stories or a novel would be James Joyce's Dubliners, Sherwood Anderson's Winesburgh Ohio, Toni Cade's hilarious Gorilla My Love. I have another novel im sending around to contestsand agents( it wrote itself from 2005-20010 but it was a very hectic time in my life- both of my parents were in their last days, I was working two jobs and my oldest kid went through a kaleidiscope of breakdowns and addictions (oxy and methadrine) that took about ten years. ssooooo, that's the SHORT VERSION.
I have a scene in my hospital book where two overworked orderlies are sharing one cup of quick cofee after successfullly turning over and cleaning a three hundred pound incontinent patient, and the head snaps, " Can you wind up the cofee clach, men it just so happens we're SHORT today."
The next sentence from the young laconic student orderly:: " She was about as tall as a penguin."
It is an implicit subteranean understanding that no writer criticizes another's work on substack.
I welcome it. It’s how we improve as writers and individuals!
what really upsets me is that nobody but me commenting on the story sees the stereotype you have created.I was brought up on Westerns, it was hollywood's contrubtion to helping "form" young men and it included a massive disinformation distortion of the 'Great American West.' And I am astofhffunded that ShermaSn Alexie liked the story, or I wonder if Ehe is being poliite. Have you read any novels by Louise Erdrich? ( Love Medicne Tracks, Roundhouse The Last Report On The Miracle at Lost Horse? Or how about Linda Hogan- Mean Spirit, Solar Storm, People of The Whale all of which have strong fully developed complex female characterss? One of the main problems in American literature isthat there a very few male writers who can portray a woman or girl in a complex way without making her out to seem to be on a pedestal or walkingthe street
by the way, do you live anywhere near Hobart? My wife took me there for my 78 birthday since it is billed as a town chocked with bookstores we had a crazy time which I can write about later it's gettin a little past my bedtime best, Ernie PS Iif my criiticsm seems harsh, well, lt's the way I roll, Im straight up but if i didnt care about you and respect your writing, I wouldnt bother.
I welcome your feedback and criticism, Ernie, and I’m happy you pointed out the stereotype. I appreciate you being straightforward! You’re right. Maricela is pretty one-dimensional and isn’t anywhere near being fully developed. I think if I were to ever expand on the story or take another swing at it, I’d round her out more to make her more complex.
Hobart isn’t very far from me...maybe an hour and a half west or so?
Thanks for reading and for the honest review!
Hey Justin, I missed the detail at the beginning, thinking you were recommending the read! I would say this is next level but you write next level already! Westerns are not typically my genre, but your descriptors, and the interplay between the characters pulled the reader close. You could totally see this in a film. Thanks, Justin. ps: I hate to lose a good hero!
Thank you so much for giving this story a chance, JM! I’m grateful for your kind words. Ugh, I know, I hate losing good heroes too. Trust me, it was never my intent when I set out to write the story! The whole thing took on a life of its own and brought me down some roads I wasn’t expecting to travel.
Yes totally get that!
Well that was a gritty western. Probably truer than we like to imagine. Well done, amigo.
Thank you, Mark. It’s a gritty one for sure!
Aww, I hated the sad ending, but glad he saved her life!
I know. It gutted me when I wrote it, but it felt true to the story/predicament. Still, I wish they were both able to get out!
Thank you for reading, Kim!
Strong sensory details (“lost in lilac” --beautiful) and solid sense of place. Well done, Justin!
Thank you for reading, Amie!
Exciting story. Had a bit of Unforgiven to it, the biggest difference being the love story and the boy's youth. A fatal youth. I was surprised when he shot and killed Nana. But the old woman is a sex trafficker. So there is justice by bullet. Thorny question that: the ethics of murder, of homicide. And to be a dying hero! Great classical themes tied up in a western thriller!
Oh, and by the way, I’ve never seen Unforgiven. I will need to add it to my watchlist!
It's a great one.
Thank you so much for reading, Sherman! I’m thrilled you liked it! When I wrote the initial draft, I questioned whether or not killing Nana went a bit too far, or if it was even necessary. I decided to leave it in the story due to Jamie’s circumstance/newfound knowledge of who she is and what she does...and her purpose for “caring” for these girls. I agree that it’s justified, but it does fall into that gray area.
I really appreciate you reading “Arena Roja.”
Really liked this, Justin! Congrats on getting it published. Worth it for sure.
Thank you for reading, James! I’m glad you liked this one!
Powerful story Justin. I can see why it was chosen for publication. The story unfolds gradually, getting darker with each revelation. A classic tale of love, good and evil. Thank you for sharing this.
Thanks so much for reading, Jim! When writing this one I remember it feeling like pulling back the layers of an onion. The characters took over and steered the ship all the way to port!
Thanks for sharing, Justin! I've only read one of McCarthy's novels, and that was The Road. However, No Country for Old Men is one of my favorite movies. I did pick up another one of his novels a while back, but his style just doesn't suit me. I might try another in the future, but my TBR list is pretty long right now.
Of course! And I totally understand, Brian. His writing isn’t for everyone, both in terms of style and content. The movie No Country for Old Men hits as hard as the novel for me!