Oh yeah, I like this. I want more, and that’s the thing isn’t it? I wonder about that last sentence though ... would the story be just as good without it? I felt like you had dangled some intrigue in front of me already, so the little teaser felt a bit heavy.
Yeah, that’s what I thought: the work of priming my anticipation was done and subtly enough to offer room for ambiguity. To me, that was because the story so far worked well enough that the last sentence wasn’t needed.
Thank you very much for letting me know, Mark. It’s wonderful feedback to receive and will only help strengthen the story/writing. I really appreciate it! 😀
An excellent follow-up, Justin. Natural dialog. Fine description of the setting. An edge of something scary coming? You got all of us on board with that last sentence!
I love how the guys are portrayed as normal, carefree high school Seniors with the usual worries and foibles, just out to have some fun, and then with the last sentence, the reader realizes that maybe this is not going to be a story about an innocent adventure after all, but something darker instead. I'm happy that you went back to this one, Justin.
Thank you so much for reading, Andrea! I’m excited to dive back in. The winter season is the perfect time to write this one. I’m oddly motivated by the cold and dark weather!
Amazing, Justin! So happy to hear you're answering the call on this story. I enjoyed reading it so much last winter and if you recall I was left with many QUESTIONS!!!! Looking forward to seeing where the story goes. If you ever want to talk NOVEL shop, let me know. I'm embarking on another one and feeling considerably more tentative this time around.
Haha, thanks, Meg! I felt the same way and need to find out the answers to said questions! Talking novel shop would be a lot of fun. Maybe we can figure out a time to do so!
Oh yeah, I like this. I want more, and that’s the thing isn’t it? I wonder about that last sentence though ... would the story be just as good without it? I felt like you had dangled some intrigue in front of me already, so the little teaser felt a bit heavy.
It’s great feedback, Tom, thank you! I wondered the same thing myself. The one prior to it gets the job done, doesn’t it? I appreciate you reading! 🙏
Yeah, that’s what I thought: the work of priming my anticipation was done and subtly enough to offer room for ambiguity. To me, that was because the story so far worked well enough that the last sentence wasn’t needed.
Wonderful to hear that. Thank you for the response and for the thoughtful/thorough read!
Great to see there is more to this story! Loved it earlier on this year.
Thank you so much, Chris!
I agree with with Tom. The last sentence felt a bit like a spoiler. The previous one was enough cliff-hanger for me. Off to a good start.
Thank you very much for letting me know, Mark. It’s wonderful feedback to receive and will only help strengthen the story/writing. I really appreciate it! 😀
Happy to help. 🤓
Looking forward to reading more!
Thanks so much, Chele! I’m excited to write more. Seems like a perfect way to get through some of these dark days.
An excellent follow-up, Justin. Natural dialog. Fine description of the setting. An edge of something scary coming? You got all of us on board with that last sentence!
Thank you for the positive feedback and encouraging words, Sharron! I’m happy to have you on board!
I love how the guys are portrayed as normal, carefree high school Seniors with the usual worries and foibles, just out to have some fun, and then with the last sentence, the reader realizes that maybe this is not going to be a story about an innocent adventure after all, but something darker instead. I'm happy that you went back to this one, Justin.
Thank you so much for reading, Andrea! I’m excited to dive back in. The winter season is the perfect time to write this one. I’m oddly motivated by the cold and dark weather!
Amazing, Justin! So happy to hear you're answering the call on this story. I enjoyed reading it so much last winter and if you recall I was left with many QUESTIONS!!!! Looking forward to seeing where the story goes. If you ever want to talk NOVEL shop, let me know. I'm embarking on another one and feeling considerably more tentative this time around.
Haha, thanks, Meg! I felt the same way and need to find out the answers to said questions! Talking novel shop would be a lot of fun. Maybe we can figure out a time to do so!
Absolutely! Plus, I want to hear about how your micro-fiction project is coming along! I'll email you soon.
I'd like to talk novel shop. Or at least listen in on yours. Ha ha ha
Definitely, Sharron. Would be fun to have a zoom hangout with both of you sometime! We'll set it up!