Justin, I like the way you do the subtitles now. I don't think they need to be any more specific, and I like just the few words, not a sentence. Have a good Fourth of July weekend!
"She just showed up, schooled us, then left." I love the laid-back idea of being "schooled". I am not familiar with skateboarding moves or jargon, but it didn't matter here. If the writer has a confident handle on the subject, that is all you need. Poor Sam - that had to hurt his pride -- more than his nose. Interesting they were in Poughkeepsie, but she said, "Y'all", giving us a clue she was not a New Yorker. Nice work, Justin.
Thanks so much, Sharron. I always look forward to reading your ideas and responses. I love how you picked up on some of the smaller details that I spent time thinking about and considering. It makes the whole process worth it!
I think a more descriptive subtitle would be great. It's really just a teaser, but you can let readers still know what to expect. For example, "No dynasty lasts forever. Flash fiction." Or, "What's a king without his Queen? Flash fiction." As far as a hobby in my youth, probably collecting Garbage Pail Kids and having a sticker book 😁
Brian, your piece over at Fictionistas was what made me think to utilize the subtitle! It’s so simple, but so essential (now that I’m actually considering it). I may end up going back through my old stories and updating them. It feels like a bit of a missed opportunity, but moving forward I’ll include them.
So in short, thank you for the idea! 😄 And thanks for sharing your childhood hobby! Fun stuff.
That's great to know it helped! I think it's okay if you leave the stories in the archive with their current subtitles unless you wanted practice 😁 There are a few things I do differently now, and thought about changing old pieces to match, but in the end there's nothing wrong with readers seeing the evolution take place.
Thank you so much, Geoffrey. I appreciate the kind words and feedback. Ahh, loved buying and collecting trading cards during that time as well. I was an avid baseball card collector!
Great story! Very entertaining! I love to watch those kind of extreme sports, I could feel y’all’s excitement! Snowboarding too, love the Olympics for that!
Thanks so much, Kim! I enjoyed writing the story. I love watching extreme sports, too. They’re always exciting to watch - especially when medals are on the line!
Masterful! This is one of your most cinematic pieces. I love how tightly the story is crafted. It was a joy to read and even more fun to read a second time and deconstruct.
Thank you, Jason! I love and appreciate the feedback. I had a lot of fun writing about Sam the Slick and these other characters. I may have to revisit them at some point because I feel like I know them well already. 😃
Honestly, as far as subtitles, do what you think is best. I am going to read, subtitle or not. Personally, I don’t like spoilers in subtitles (or titles.) My two cents. 🤓
I appreciate the feedback, too. Thank you. I tend to overthink some of these tiny decisions, and ultimately it may not matter one way or the other. 🤷♂️
I am not a great writer, Justin, but I was a great English teacher. Ha Ha. I can see that you write thoughtfully and with care in details. You look for the right word, the most impactful structure. You no doubt do a lot of editing. ( As do I. ) I especially liked the short, staccato sentences and fragments you used in this piece. One small suggestion: watch the dashes. I myself overuse them. Many of them could/should be commas. I noticed it especially in this piece. I know it is a matter of style, but just thought I would mention it. Keep up the great entertainment, kiddo.
Ah, I know! I’m addicted to dashes, haha! I can see how they might be a bit distracting as a reader. I appreciate you pointing that out. I’m going to start paying closer attention to their use and try to replace them with commas.
Justin, I like the way you do the subtitles now. I don't think they need to be any more specific, and I like just the few words, not a sentence. Have a good Fourth of July weekend!
Thanks so much for the feedback, Andrea! I appreciate it. And yes, you as well! Today was an absolute scorcher. 🌞
"She just showed up, schooled us, then left." I love the laid-back idea of being "schooled". I am not familiar with skateboarding moves or jargon, but it didn't matter here. If the writer has a confident handle on the subject, that is all you need. Poor Sam - that had to hurt his pride -- more than his nose. Interesting they were in Poughkeepsie, but she said, "Y'all", giving us a clue she was not a New Yorker. Nice work, Justin.
Thanks so much, Sharron. I always look forward to reading your ideas and responses. I love how you picked up on some of the smaller details that I spent time thinking about and considering. It makes the whole process worth it!
I think a more descriptive subtitle would be great. It's really just a teaser, but you can let readers still know what to expect. For example, "No dynasty lasts forever. Flash fiction." Or, "What's a king without his Queen? Flash fiction." As far as a hobby in my youth, probably collecting Garbage Pail Kids and having a sticker book 😁
Brian, your piece over at Fictionistas was what made me think to utilize the subtitle! It’s so simple, but so essential (now that I’m actually considering it). I may end up going back through my old stories and updating them. It feels like a bit of a missed opportunity, but moving forward I’ll include them.
So in short, thank you for the idea! 😄 And thanks for sharing your childhood hobby! Fun stuff.
That's great to know it helped! I think it's okay if you leave the stories in the archive with their current subtitles unless you wanted practice 😁 There are a few things I do differently now, and thought about changing old pieces to match, but in the end there's nothing wrong with readers seeing the evolution take place.
Great story! I like the abundance of skateboarding specifics.
I’d recommend a short sentence, a few words, to give the reader a sense of what they’re getting.
As for old hobbies, I collected basketball cards for many years during the 90s. The “Space Jam” era.
Thank you so much, Geoffrey. I appreciate the kind words and feedback. Ahh, loved buying and collecting trading cards during that time as well. I was an avid baseball card collector!
Great story! Very entertaining! I love to watch those kind of extreme sports, I could feel y’all’s excitement! Snowboarding too, love the Olympics for that!
Thanks so much, Kim! I enjoyed writing the story. I love watching extreme sports, too. They’re always exciting to watch - especially when medals are on the line!
Masterful! This is one of your most cinematic pieces. I love how tightly the story is crafted. It was a joy to read and even more fun to read a second time and deconstruct.
Thank you, Jason! I love and appreciate the feedback. I had a lot of fun writing about Sam the Slick and these other characters. I may have to revisit them at some point because I feel like I know them well already. 😃
You’re on a roll. 😉🤣
Honestly, as far as subtitles, do what you think is best. I am going to read, subtitle or not. Personally, I don’t like spoilers in subtitles (or titles.) My two cents. 🤓
Haha, thanks Mark! 🤣
I appreciate the feedback, too. Thank you. I tend to overthink some of these tiny decisions, and ultimately it may not matter one way or the other. 🤷♂️
I am not a great writer, Justin, but I was a great English teacher. Ha Ha. I can see that you write thoughtfully and with care in details. You look for the right word, the most impactful structure. You no doubt do a lot of editing. ( As do I. ) I especially liked the short, staccato sentences and fragments you used in this piece. One small suggestion: watch the dashes. I myself overuse them. Many of them could/should be commas. I noticed it especially in this piece. I know it is a matter of style, but just thought I would mention it. Keep up the great entertainment, kiddo.
Thank you for the praise!
Ah, I know! I’m addicted to dashes, haha! I can see how they might be a bit distracting as a reader. I appreciate you pointing that out. I’m going to start paying closer attention to their use and try to replace them with commas.
By the way, I think you’re a great writer. 😀