This was such an important story, carrying with it a lesson wherein we want to expose the bullies, but we can't use their own methods to punish them, because then we have gotten down to their level, which doesn't accomplish anything good. The reader can totally feel the main character's fear and guilt at the end.
Thank you, Andrea! That is exactly what I was shooting for, the basic idea of two wrongs don’t make a right. Once they stooped to the bullies’ level, I knew I had to move in that direction. Often that’s how life works, as well. I always love getting your insight and feedback - thanks again! 😊
I enjoyed this piece. Called to mind a scene in Pet Sematary, with the bully Clyde Parker, but unfortunately the bully is a trope that will never go away. I have made too many decisions based on emotion but I am also filled with the debris of dozens of triggers never pulled, ha!
Thank you very much for saying so, Tiffany. You’re right: it is sad that this particular trope will stick around forever! There’s something poetic about your line “...filled with the debris of dozens of triggers never pulled” - love that. I’m right there with you in both regards!
I felt like I knew where that was going, but it was still intense. Very well written, Justin. My first thought was someone is going to lose an eye or get shot in the temple... something a parent thinks 😂
Thank you so much, Brian. I really appreciate it. Haha, I understand the parent perspective completely! 🤣 When Raul asked Mike if he was sure he wanted to follow through with it, that was the moment I knew something would run amiss.
Great story, Justin. At the risk of sounding like a doctor, studies show that humans generally make decisions based on emotion and then build arguments that justify them. We think we're doing the opposite, but not so much. So yeah. I do try to be cognizant of this and really look at evidence because I am aware of this.
Thank you so much, Dascha! I never actually knew that, but it makes a lot of sense. I wanted to pose the question because I felt like it’s universal. We all make decisions based on emotions at one point or another - hopefully not all the time! I think it’s important to consider consequences and the impact our decisions will or could make.
Ah, forget about it. Those little rats got what wuz coming to 'em, if you ask me! Some times you gotta fight fire with fire. If there is no confrontation, there is no change. Just saying. Great story!
I hear you! People do have to stand up to bullies, no question. Based on what had already happened (the other kids had been causing trouble for a while and did have the cops called on them), maybe the police officer would give Mike a firm talking to? A slap on the wrist? I’m not really sure how events would play out from the end point of the story.
Oddly enough, I wrote the first paragraph in a close third perspective and made the change to first before I added another line! I’m happy it worked for you. 😀
I don’t know why, but I feel like Mike would sketch anime or possibly fantasy-based drawings. Castles, high towers, mountaintops - things in that wheelhouse. In retrospect, I wish I had included a small, additional detail about the sketchbooks because it would have been a great way to further characterize Mike.
This was such an important story, carrying with it a lesson wherein we want to expose the bullies, but we can't use their own methods to punish them, because then we have gotten down to their level, which doesn't accomplish anything good. The reader can totally feel the main character's fear and guilt at the end.
Thank you, Andrea! That is exactly what I was shooting for, the basic idea of two wrongs don’t make a right. Once they stooped to the bullies’ level, I knew I had to move in that direction. Often that’s how life works, as well. I always love getting your insight and feedback - thanks again! 😊
I was worried something was going to go wrong... Echoing what Andrea said, the fear and dread at the end of the story is palpable.
Thank you so much for reading, Claire! I always look forward to your commentary!
I enjoyed this piece. Called to mind a scene in Pet Sematary, with the bully Clyde Parker, but unfortunately the bully is a trope that will never go away. I have made too many decisions based on emotion but I am also filled with the debris of dozens of triggers never pulled, ha!
Thank you very much for saying so, Tiffany. You’re right: it is sad that this particular trope will stick around forever! There’s something poetic about your line “...filled with the debris of dozens of triggers never pulled” - love that. I’m right there with you in both regards!
I felt like I knew where that was going, but it was still intense. Very well written, Justin. My first thought was someone is going to lose an eye or get shot in the temple... something a parent thinks 😂
Thank you so much, Brian. I really appreciate it. Haha, I understand the parent perspective completely! 🤣 When Raul asked Mike if he was sure he wanted to follow through with it, that was the moment I knew something would run amiss.
Great story, Justin. At the risk of sounding like a doctor, studies show that humans generally make decisions based on emotion and then build arguments that justify them. We think we're doing the opposite, but not so much. So yeah. I do try to be cognizant of this and really look at evidence because I am aware of this.
Thank you so much, Dascha! I never actually knew that, but it makes a lot of sense. I wanted to pose the question because I felt like it’s universal. We all make decisions based on emotions at one point or another - hopefully not all the time! I think it’s important to consider consequences and the impact our decisions will or could make.
Ah, forget about it. Those little rats got what wuz coming to 'em, if you ask me! Some times you gotta fight fire with fire. If there is no confrontation, there is no change. Just saying. Great story!
I hear you! People do have to stand up to bullies, no question. Based on what had already happened (the other kids had been causing trouble for a while and did have the cops called on them), maybe the police officer would give Mike a firm talking to? A slap on the wrist? I’m not really sure how events would play out from the end point of the story.
Thanks for reading and commenting, Sharron!
Great one. They should have used rotten apples. 🤣 Unfortunately, he is going to learn a hard lesson about guilt and consequences.
Now that would have been justice served: pelting the “rotten apples” with rotten apples! 🤣
Sorry, Pet Sematary 2!
My horror heart, ha!
Haha, no worries at all! I was trying to recall that scene in Pet Sematary but kept drawing blanks. 🤣
It’s still hands down one of the scariest books I’ve ever read. I get creeped out just thinking about it!
Writing it as a first person narrative was a great choice. We feel more responsible for the actions. A sort of forced introspection. Well done Justin!
Thanks so much, Jeff! 🙏
Oddly enough, I wrote the first paragraph in a close third perspective and made the change to first before I added another line! I’m happy it worked for you. 😀
I found myself wondering about the sketchbooks. What is he drawing in them?
I don’t know why, but I feel like Mike would sketch anime or possibly fantasy-based drawings. Castles, high towers, mountaintops - things in that wheelhouse. In retrospect, I wish I had included a small, additional detail about the sketchbooks because it would have been a great way to further characterize Mike.
Your most powerful story, yet, Justin...well done! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Thanks so much, Jenise! I really appreciate it. 😀
Brought a smile to my face.
That makes me happy to hear!