As a fan of mythology the box made me think of Pandora's box that allowed all evils to escape but kept hope contained. To me, that is what the boy and the girl represent. They are the hope that dies in the face of hunger and cold. Great little tale - I especially loved the four lines of exposition. So many ways you go from there!
Elia, thank you so much for reading, commenting, and subscribing. I’m grateful to have you on board!
Pandora’s Box was another major consideration when I developed this story. I love your take and overall analysis, especially regarding the children and what they represent.
Black box, black hole, vast universe. Good, evil. Creator, destroyer. Was this the first or the one hundredth time the world was destroyed? Who knows how many times there was this new beginning, and how many times an innocent young person failed to protect it, due to the overpowering force of evil. Wow! My mind is racing. This has the makings of a very cool book Justin! Excellent writing!!!
Uncle Scott, I loved reading your comments regarding the story! Thanks so much for sharing. While writing I had the same question in my mind: how many times had the world/universe been reconfigured and reshaped? How many times had it all gone to hell so badly that it needed to be started over from scratch?
I’m so glad you liked the story. It’s definitely calling for me to expand on it at some point. Thanks again for reading!
Love the ambition in the scale of this ... an epic packed into a small black box, fizzing with explosive possibilities. There's a Garden of Eden vibe simmering under the hood ... but at the heart of it is great imagination and fine pacing. Excellent
Justin, I read this story a few times and it totally consumed my thoughts for awhile. I think you are depicting the destruction of innocence, and the idea that evil has no rhyme or reason. It just exists in juxtaposition with good. The girl is simple and good and has kept good care of the black box, and then the boy (evil) seeks only to open it and maybe steal its treasure, or if unable to do that, destroy it. And in the end, he destroys the whole world, and the silhouette has to go about creating, once again, a world where goodness prevails, or attempts to. I really liked this one, dark as it was!
Yeeps! That IS dark! "... an absolute calamity—the fists of a thousand gods..." It is a heavy piece. We write these things down and wonder where they come from, don't we? I hope you are well! Thanks for the new 50-word challenge, my wheels are turning....
Sharron, you’re so right. I began the story with an idea in my mind (a girl holding a black box). How the heck did I end up here?! Again, it was one of those pieces where after writing it I wondered… “Do I send it out there?” But I’m finding it’s always better to take a chance and hit that publish button.
All is well here. I hope the same for you! Thank you so much for reading. I’m looking forward to your “fifty” and all the others we might see by the fire. 😄
Thank you so much for reading this story and for giving it a shot, Matthew! It’s very much appreciated. I imagined this “silhouette of a man” to be a god-like figure. He might get to work by shaping the universe, creating planets, stars. Not really sure, to be honest, but that’s where my mind went, ha! It’s very ambiguous so I completely understand why you were left feeling that way!
Thanks again for reading and commenting, my friend.
Andrea, did you read my mind?! I don’t often think about how I’m going to integrate themes in my shorter stories like this one (well, not as deeply, at least), but I did this time around. It’s amazing how you nailed my thought process so accurately. That was my exact vision of the characters. I ended up piecing the story together like a twisted Garden of Eden, in a way. How neat that you landed directly in the place where I hoped the story would end up. Thanks so much for reading and for sharing your thoughts regarding the story! I’m happy you liked it!
Yay!! I'm glad I interpreted the story the way you meant it to be! I always love reading your writing, and this one really caught my interest! Kind of a Pandora's box theme, too!
Loved this Justin. So vast, so epic and in such a short space of time. And it leaves the reader wanting more!
Thank you so much for the kind words, Chris! I’m really happy you liked this one!
As a fan of mythology the box made me think of Pandora's box that allowed all evils to escape but kept hope contained. To me, that is what the boy and the girl represent. They are the hope that dies in the face of hunger and cold. Great little tale - I especially loved the four lines of exposition. So many ways you go from there!
Oops, I’m sorry, please scratch the part about subscribing. This was meant for a different reader on a separate story! My apologies!
Regardless, I am grateful for you taking the time to read my story. 🙏
Elia, thank you so much for reading, commenting, and subscribing. I’m grateful to have you on board!
Pandora’s Box was another major consideration when I developed this story. I love your take and overall analysis, especially regarding the children and what they represent.
Very Rich
Thank you for reading, Mark!
Whoa, a creation story; a dark beginning. This was great.
Thank you so much, Stephanie! I really appreciate it!
I loved this story, Justin! Great work!
Thank you, Jason!
Black box, black hole, vast universe. Good, evil. Creator, destroyer. Was this the first or the one hundredth time the world was destroyed? Who knows how many times there was this new beginning, and how many times an innocent young person failed to protect it, due to the overpowering force of evil. Wow! My mind is racing. This has the makings of a very cool book Justin! Excellent writing!!!
Uncle Scott, I loved reading your comments regarding the story! Thanks so much for sharing. While writing I had the same question in my mind: how many times had the world/universe been reconfigured and reshaped? How many times had it all gone to hell so badly that it needed to be started over from scratch?
I’m so glad you liked the story. It’s definitely calling for me to expand on it at some point. Thanks again for reading!
Maybe take a shot at a screenplay!?
Oooh…now that’s a fun idea. I’ve never written one, but I’d give it a whirl!
Love the ambition in the scale of this ... an epic packed into a small black box, fizzing with explosive possibilities. There's a Garden of Eden vibe simmering under the hood ... but at the heart of it is great imagination and fine pacing. Excellent
Thank you so much for reading and for the kind words, Barrie! I’m excited that you liked it so much!
So, that's how the Universe started. When someone says, "Protect it at all costs," it's time to run the other way. 🤣
You heard it here first, Mark! 🤣 And yes, no question. “Protect it all costs” is a clear red flag! Thank you so much for reading.
Justin, I read this story a few times and it totally consumed my thoughts for awhile. I think you are depicting the destruction of innocence, and the idea that evil has no rhyme or reason. It just exists in juxtaposition with good. The girl is simple and good and has kept good care of the black box, and then the boy (evil) seeks only to open it and maybe steal its treasure, or if unable to do that, destroy it. And in the end, he destroys the whole world, and the silhouette has to go about creating, once again, a world where goodness prevails, or attempts to. I really liked this one, dark as it was!
Oops, Andrea, I just left you a response. For some reason it kicked it below. Please take a look when you have a moment! Thanks again for reading! 😀
Sent you an email, but not sure if it got to you...
Hi Andrea! Hmm, I’m not seeing one…I look forward to it when it decides to arrive! 😄
Yeeps! That IS dark! "... an absolute calamity—the fists of a thousand gods..." It is a heavy piece. We write these things down and wonder where they come from, don't we? I hope you are well! Thanks for the new 50-word challenge, my wheels are turning....
Sharron, you’re so right. I began the story with an idea in my mind (a girl holding a black box). How the heck did I end up here?! Again, it was one of those pieces where after writing it I wondered… “Do I send it out there?” But I’m finding it’s always better to take a chance and hit that publish button.
All is well here. I hope the same for you! Thank you so much for reading. I’m looking forward to your “fifty” and all the others we might see by the fire. 😄
Send it out! Always send it out. What could go wrong? ha ha ha
And yes, I have that "sphere" in the works.
Get to work doing what? What a way to leave us hanging! I'll admit I don't usually read dark fiction but thought I'd take a shot this time.
Thank you so much for reading this story and for giving it a shot, Matthew! It’s very much appreciated. I imagined this “silhouette of a man” to be a god-like figure. He might get to work by shaping the universe, creating planets, stars. Not really sure, to be honest, but that’s where my mind went, ha! It’s very ambiguous so I completely understand why you were left feeling that way!
Thanks again for reading and commenting, my friend.
Andrea, did you read my mind?! I don’t often think about how I’m going to integrate themes in my shorter stories like this one (well, not as deeply, at least), but I did this time around. It’s amazing how you nailed my thought process so accurately. That was my exact vision of the characters. I ended up piecing the story together like a twisted Garden of Eden, in a way. How neat that you landed directly in the place where I hoped the story would end up. Thanks so much for reading and for sharing your thoughts regarding the story! I’m happy you liked it!
Yay!! I'm glad I interpreted the story the way you meant it to be! I always love reading your writing, and this one really caught my interest! Kind of a Pandora's box theme, too!
Yes, definitely Pandora’s Box, too!