As a fan of mythology the box made me think of Pandora's box that allowed all evils to escape but kept hope contained. To me, that is what the boy and the girl represent. They are the hope that dies in the face of hunger and cold. Great little tale - I especially loved the four lines of exposition. So many ways you go from there!
Black box, black hole, vast universe. Good, evil. Creator, destroyer. Was this the first or the one hundredth time the world was destroyed? Who knows how many times there was this new beginning, and how many times an innocent young person failed to protect it, due to the overpowering force of evil. Wow! My mind is racing. This has the makings of a very cool book Justin! Excellent writing!!!
Love the ambition in the scale of this ... an epic packed into a small black box, fizzing with explosive possibilities. There's a Garden of Eden vibe simmering under the hood ... but at the heart of it is great imagination and fine pacing. Excellent
Justin, I read this story a few times and it totally consumed my thoughts for awhile. I think you are depicting the destruction of innocence, and the idea that evil has no rhyme or reason. It just exists in juxtaposition with good. The girl is simple and good and has kept good care of the black box, and then the boy (evil) seeks only to open it and maybe steal its treasure, or if unable to do that, destroy it. And in the end, he destroys the whole world, and the silhouette has to go about creating, once again, a world where goodness prevails, or attempts to. I really liked this one, dark as it was!
Yeeps! That IS dark! "... an absolute calamity—the fists of a thousand gods..." It is a heavy piece. We write these things down and wonder where they come from, don't we? I hope you are well! Thanks for the new 50-word challenge, my wheels are turning....
Andrea, did you read my mind?! I don’t often think about how I’m going to integrate themes in my shorter stories like this one (well, not as deeply, at least), but I did this time around. It’s amazing how you nailed my thought process so accurately. That was my exact vision of the characters. I ended up piecing the story together like a twisted Garden of Eden, in a way. How neat that you landed directly in the place where I hoped the story would end up. Thanks so much for reading and for sharing your thoughts regarding the story! I’m happy you liked it!
Loved this Justin. So vast, so epic and in such a short space of time. And it leaves the reader wanting more!
As a fan of mythology the box made me think of Pandora's box that allowed all evils to escape but kept hope contained. To me, that is what the boy and the girl represent. They are the hope that dies in the face of hunger and cold. Great little tale - I especially loved the four lines of exposition. So many ways you go from there!
Very Rich
Whoa, a creation story; a dark beginning. This was great.
I loved this story, Justin! Great work!
Black box, black hole, vast universe. Good, evil. Creator, destroyer. Was this the first or the one hundredth time the world was destroyed? Who knows how many times there was this new beginning, and how many times an innocent young person failed to protect it, due to the overpowering force of evil. Wow! My mind is racing. This has the makings of a very cool book Justin! Excellent writing!!!
Love the ambition in the scale of this ... an epic packed into a small black box, fizzing with explosive possibilities. There's a Garden of Eden vibe simmering under the hood ... but at the heart of it is great imagination and fine pacing. Excellent
So, that's how the Universe started. When someone says, "Protect it at all costs," it's time to run the other way. 🤣
Justin, I read this story a few times and it totally consumed my thoughts for awhile. I think you are depicting the destruction of innocence, and the idea that evil has no rhyme or reason. It just exists in juxtaposition with good. The girl is simple and good and has kept good care of the black box, and then the boy (evil) seeks only to open it and maybe steal its treasure, or if unable to do that, destroy it. And in the end, he destroys the whole world, and the silhouette has to go about creating, once again, a world where goodness prevails, or attempts to. I really liked this one, dark as it was!
Yeeps! That IS dark! "... an absolute calamity—the fists of a thousand gods..." It is a heavy piece. We write these things down and wonder where they come from, don't we? I hope you are well! Thanks for the new 50-word challenge, my wheels are turning....
Get to work doing what? What a way to leave us hanging! I'll admit I don't usually read dark fiction but thought I'd take a shot this time.
Andrea, did you read my mind?! I don’t often think about how I’m going to integrate themes in my shorter stories like this one (well, not as deeply, at least), but I did this time around. It’s amazing how you nailed my thought process so accurately. That was my exact vision of the characters. I ended up piecing the story together like a twisted Garden of Eden, in a way. How neat that you landed directly in the place where I hoped the story would end up. Thanks so much for reading and for sharing your thoughts regarding the story! I’m happy you liked it!