18 Comments

I’m so allergic to poison oak and poison ivy that I might have gotten a rash just from reading this story!

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Haha! I’m very sensitive to both as well, Jason. I was cringing while writing this story, and I don’t know what possessed me to go down that particular path! 😅

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I have never had a reaction to poison ivy, so either I am immune or just lucky. I tend to think it’s the first.

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It’s very possible. Maybe a bit of both! 😉 Thanks for reading, Mark.

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Cute and clever story. I enjoyed The Poison Ivy Plan.

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Thanks so much, Bill. I’m happy you enjoyed it!

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Just call me Hannah 🤦🏻‍♀️

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🤣🤣

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Whoops, that plan backfired! I have a couple of goofy stories from my childhood 🤣

The best one was probably the time I had the great idea to run away from home. I’ll have to write that one out for you later.

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Oh my gosh, that’s too funny. My brother and I had a similar plan growing up. Needless to say...we didn’t last very long in the wild, haha! Looking forward to hearing your story. 😄

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Well, I can tell it here because I am still unsure of my way around substack.

When I was about eleven or twelve, I had the brilliant idea one day soon after Christmas to run away. My reasoning was that I worked like a dog but Mom didn’t appreciate anything I did and always rode me and was hateful to me. Anyway, I was going alone, I had a small suitcase packed with pjs, perfume, and m&ms-those are the items I remember. Might have been more, idk. My brother somehow got the plan out of me and insisted on going too. I tried to tell him no, but he wouldn’t hear of it, he’s always thought of himself as my protector. So, we snuck out of my parents bedroom window, took our bikes out of the shed, and left out the back gate, all without our parents knowledge because they were busy watching the Super Bowl. Unbeknownst to us, our dogs got out and followed us. So there we are, going down grapevine highway with my three-legged dog stopping traffic, when the cop sees two small children riding bikes with suitcases hanging on the handlebars. I immediately start crying because I know we’re caught and fixing to get our butts beat, but my brother-Kevin- thinks it’s cool to be in a cop car. He was about eight at the time. Needless to say, I’ve never seen Dad so mad as when he picked us up. The bikes went on the garage wall for 6 months and after lectures from them and all of our known neighbors, we were too mortified to ever try that little stunt again. 🤣

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What a carefully coordinated plan! If the dogs hadn’t followed you, who knows where you would be today? 😅

I can almost see this being turned into an indie short film. Too funny. (Though not at the time, I’m sure.) Thank you so much for sharing and for the laugh! 😄

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You’re welcome. It’s good to laugh at yourself and the silly things you did as a kid.

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It is my earliest childhood memory: I was only three, and cringing down behind the driver's seat in our old Plymouth, sniveling and whining as mom drove us all to the hospital. I was blistered from cheek to ankle from poison oak, on fire, eyes glued shut, full of dread. Two young neighbor boys said we would make ourselves immune to poison oak forever, if we rubbed it on our bodies "real good" just one time. Man, were they ever wrong! I believe that is called learning the hard way. I hadn't thought about that itch and that dry, crackly, useless Calamine lotion for a long time. Thanks, Justin, for taking me back.

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Oh no! I’m sorry in a way for taking you back to that memory, but I’m happy you liked the story. Poison oak/ivy is no fun whatsoever. As a kid I remember one time when my cousin had gotten it really bad - all over his body, like the way you described. He had Calamine spread all over his body and he was in such agony.

Thank you for reading, Sharron!

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Ha! Davy needed to think more than twice before enacting this plan! I've never had poison Ivy and hope never to have the "pleasure."

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Haha yep. That’s the thing with kids: they can be very impulsive! 🤣 I hope you never have to experience it. Over the years I swear I’ve developed a hypersensitivity towards it. Without fail I get it 1-2 yearly now, even if taking all the proper precautions!

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That's awful! I have so many allergies. I really hope I don't ever add that one to the list.

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