20 Comments
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Mark Dykeman's avatar

This story reminded me a little bit of the Amazon series Night Sky, which uses a similar device about a portal to somewhere else. It feels like it could be developed into something bigger.

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Justin Deming's avatar

Thanks for the feedback, Mark. I love portal stories! I’ve never heard of Night Sky, but I will definitely check it out.

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Amie McGraham's avatar

Exactly my thoughts! Shades of (shimmers?) Stephen King

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Justin Deming's avatar

Thanks, Amie! One of my favorite Stephen King novels is 11/22/63, so it’s definitely a big inspiration for me.

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Sharron Bassano's avatar

I like the story ending just as it is, letting us imagine that other world. “We start over,” Grandpa chimed in. “We move on from the old world and all its problems.” A lot of us fantasize about having THAT opportunity these days, don't we? I am glad the rest of his family are finding a way to join them. ( I already have a draft for the ghost story. )

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Justin Deming's avatar

Thank you, Sharron! I know many of us would take the opportunity and run with it. And awesome!! I’m happy to hear that! I still have to write mine, but I have an idea. Looking forward to reading yours. 😊

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Geoffrey Golden's avatar

Definitely feels like a “Chapter One.” Great work!

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Justin Deming's avatar

Thanks so much, Geoffrey! I really appreciate it. (By the way, I still plan on writing a piece on flash/micro and sending it your way for Fictionistas. One of these days it will happen, ha.)

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Geoffrey Golden's avatar

I look forward to reading it someday!

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andrea tackach's avatar

This was fascinating.. I hope you continue with this story, Justin! As always, your characters are so well drawn, and they stay with the reader long after the story ends.

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Justin Deming's avatar

Thank you so much, Andrea. After writing this one I thought it might be up your alley - you’ve read a lot of my stories that were in a similar wheelhouse! At some point I’m sure I’ll return to it. (Which probably means years from now, haha!)

Thanks again. 😊

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Brian Reindel 👾⚔️'s avatar

A beautiful story, Justin! It's such a powerful plot device bcause so many people can relate to the idea of starting over in some way. I'm definitely curious about the people/aliens, and all of the environment.

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Justin Deming's avatar

Thank you so much, Brian! I’m happy you enjoyed it. I’ve always been drawn to “starting over” stories with fantasy/sci-fi slants. I had a difficult time “ending” this piece, and I took a few additional notes on the world in case I ever want to return to it. The pull is pretty strong! I appreciate your feedback!

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Claire Walster's avatar

Lovely story, Justin! I too would love to see you expand on this new world.

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Justin Deming's avatar

Thanks so much for the encouragement, Claire!

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Kim Smyth's avatar

That was wonderful, Justin, I really enjoyed it 🤗

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Justin Deming's avatar

Thank you, Kim! I’m happy to hear you liked it.

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Jenise Cook's avatar

You may have either a novella or a novel here, Justin. I look forward to seeing what you may do with piece 😊

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Justin Deming's avatar

Thanks, Jenise! It feels like one that I could potentially flesh out. 😀

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Dascha Paylor 🇨🇦🍁🐻‍❄'s avatar

I love this story! Definitely book potential here.

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