This is beautiful, Justin. I love the imagery.. The reader feels as though he/she is in the car with the narrator, contemplating his choice. I would give this story a happy ending. It would turn out that the girl is driving to see the narrator and they meet in the middle at a gas station!! There! Second chances!
Thanks so much, Andrea! I’ve had to make a few late-night airport shuttle runs recently and for whatever reason I knew I wanted to write a story about a person driving late at night. The rest kind of wrote itself!
I love your idea. And what a coincidence that the girl would be on her way to him! This ending feels very much like a summer romance read! 😄
Jul 9, 2022·edited Jul 9, 2022Liked by Justin Deming
Thank you, Justin, for not telling us how you two "filled in the blank spaces". We readers want to imagine those blank spaces for ourselves. You ended this in exactly the right spot. Nothing more was needed. Life very seldom has nice neat endings, right? Sharron at LEAVES
Thanks so much as always, Sharron. I appreciate the feedback. Sometimes with these shorter pieces I enjoy writing ambiguous or open endings to allow readers the chance to “write their own conclusions”, if you will. So true - life rarely has neat endings! 😊
Yes, the summer romance read!!!! I always include a few of those in my summer goodreads choices... At the rate I am going, I need to find some very short summer reads!!!
Another great story! If I were to write an "ending" I would be tempted to have this story just be the prologue. The narrator would get their heart broken and decide to head back to Mexico. The rest of the story would be one of self discovery and the end would be the realization that breakups aren't endings--they're simply transitions between scenes.
Thanks, Jason! What a great idea! I love the way you describe breakups as transitions between scenes. It’s so true. Returning to Mexico would be a logical starting point for this individual’s journey to find himself.
I love the way this is written. Memories betray us in a lot of ways. I would write that he finds her in a different state of mind, changed, a bit of a foreigner to him now because her life is so distant. On the journey back he meets someone in an old broken down town in the middle of nowhere, and that girl ends up asking him on a date at the end of the story.
Thank you so much for the kind words, Brian. This is a great point. Perhaps those memories were murky, at best.
Ahh, now that would be a believable and refreshing way for the story to end! Love it. It’s certainly more hopeful, too. Sometimes when writing very short fiction I intentionally create ambiguous endings. It can allow the reader to “write the rest”, if you will! Thanks for sharing!
I'm guilty of the same -- leaving an open ending. There's definitely nothing wrong with that :) Shorter pieces almost demand some ambiguity. I'm enjoying Along the Hudson!
Thanks so much, Robert! I like that take a lot. I can see it happening! It’s always fun to hear everyone’s perspective and to see how they read the story/which direction it took on for them.
This is beautiful, Justin. I love the imagery.. The reader feels as though he/she is in the car with the narrator, contemplating his choice. I would give this story a happy ending. It would turn out that the girl is driving to see the narrator and they meet in the middle at a gas station!! There! Second chances!
Thanks so much, Andrea! I’ve had to make a few late-night airport shuttle runs recently and for whatever reason I knew I wanted to write a story about a person driving late at night. The rest kind of wrote itself!
I love your idea. And what a coincidence that the girl would be on her way to him! This ending feels very much like a summer romance read! 😄
I like Andreas’s “ending.”
Me too!
Thank you, Justin, for not telling us how you two "filled in the blank spaces". We readers want to imagine those blank spaces for ourselves. You ended this in exactly the right spot. Nothing more was needed. Life very seldom has nice neat endings, right? Sharron at LEAVES
Thanks so much as always, Sharron. I appreciate the feedback. Sometimes with these shorter pieces I enjoy writing ambiguous or open endings to allow readers the chance to “write their own conclusions”, if you will. So true - life rarely has neat endings! 😊
Yes, the summer romance read!!!! I always include a few of those in my summer goodreads choices... At the rate I am going, I need to find some very short summer reads!!!
You and me both, Andrea! I’m behind schedule in a serious way. 🤣 Feel free to let me know if you come across any books that might be up my alley. 😊
Another great story! If I were to write an "ending" I would be tempted to have this story just be the prologue. The narrator would get their heart broken and decide to head back to Mexico. The rest of the story would be one of self discovery and the end would be the realization that breakups aren't endings--they're simply transitions between scenes.
Thanks, Jason! What a great idea! I love the way you describe breakups as transitions between scenes. It’s so true. Returning to Mexico would be a logical starting point for this individual’s journey to find himself.
I love the way this is written. Memories betray us in a lot of ways. I would write that he finds her in a different state of mind, changed, a bit of a foreigner to him now because her life is so distant. On the journey back he meets someone in an old broken down town in the middle of nowhere, and that girl ends up asking him on a date at the end of the story.
Thank you so much for the kind words, Brian. This is a great point. Perhaps those memories were murky, at best.
Ahh, now that would be a believable and refreshing way for the story to end! Love it. It’s certainly more hopeful, too. Sometimes when writing very short fiction I intentionally create ambiguous endings. It can allow the reader to “write the rest”, if you will! Thanks for sharing!
I'm guilty of the same -- leaving an open ending. There's definitely nothing wrong with that :) Shorter pieces almost demand some ambiguity. I'm enjoying Along the Hudson!
Thanks so much, Robert! I like that take a lot. I can see it happening! It’s always fun to hear everyone’s perspective and to see how they read the story/which direction it took on for them.